Merry Hazelmas!

 

Growing up my little sister and I learned that Christmas giving was an Olympic sport and that our mother, Hazel, was a gold medalist.

The Christmas tree in our house floated upon an ever expanding sea of beautifully wrapped and ribboned boxes. At least half of those boxes would end up in the family station wagon. The car would be so full of presents mom would have to make little cubbies that my sister and I would crawl into. Then she’d settle her husband behind the wheel and we’d fly to Terre Haute to spend Christmas with her family.

Our mother didn’t just love Christmas, she was Christmas.

Hazel grew up poor with 8 brothers and sisters and her childhood Christmases weren’t much due to worthless father figures who weren’t there when they should have been. It’s why she nailed my father’s feet to the floor and made sure he went to work everyday so she could be Christmas every year.

Some people might say Hazel was a shallow person to put so much effort into buying gifts for everyone and even having multiple all-purpose gifts for last minute friends who might need one, but that gift wasn’t just a ‘thing’ if you got it from her. It was a physical manifestation of her love. Because she loved you. She loved everyone.

I don’t much care for the Christmas season. I love my family and I love the wonderful gatherings hosted by my amazing sister, but I hate it that I can’t go into a Walmart in December if I need underpants. And who decided to start playing Christmas music the day after Halloween, when we’re all crashing from the sugar high we had the day before?

I don’t know how my sister feels about the Christmas season, but for me and my family she is Christmas. Though her Christmas tree isn’t buried in brightly colored boxes her house is overflowing with love. Thank God for my little sister. We’re all truly blessed to have her in our lives.

By the way, we’re changing Christmas to Hazelmas. So, Merry Hazelmas everybody!

Shut the fuck up about masks

 Dear Bill Maher,

Shut the fuck up about masks.

I get it, you’re tired of covering your Covid-hole, but masks are used for many different things. I wear one while I cut the grass due to my severe grass allergy. I also wear one while in densely populated spaces. I’m comforted by the additional protection it provides and I haven’t gotten sick in 3 years.

I've always been a sickly person. All of my life, for as long as I can remember. Every winter I would get a severe case of bronchitis. I’d lose a week of school (I didn’t give a fuck) or a week of work (I HAD to give a fuck).

I was told bronchitis was a smoker’s disease. I grew up in a working class household with a father who smoked multiple packs of cigarettes a day, so I never questioned the idea that bronchitis was a smoker’s disease since my dad smoked in the house.

After I moved out of my dad’s house I would still get bronchitis at least once a winter. I had started smoking as well, so I continued to think that was the reason I’d get sick.

I haven’t had bronchitis since 2018. I haven’t had a cold since 2018. I’ll be wearing masks until the day I die.

You have the right to express your opinion, but I wish you would do it more responsibly. You give MAGAts ammunition against those of us who benefit from wearing a mask.

Wearing a mask has the added benefit of signaling to people here in deep red Missouri that I didn’t vote for the child of an orangutan for president.

My son tells me I should stop watching your show because it pisses me off, but you're still the most balanced political platform on TV. It's what keeps me coming back.

You and I used to agree a lot more than we do these days. You seem much less tolerant of quirks. Your anti-woke stance is exactly what the conservative corporate machine wants. They want you to get pissed off about trans women kicking ass in women’s sports. (Really, who gives a fuck?) They want you to be pissed off that a trans woman with huge tits is given the right to teach kids. (Who the fuck cares, if she’s actually teaching?)

You’re ranting about this silly shit on your TV show, when the reason conservatives do it is to divert the MAGAts from the fact that republicans have nothing for the working class.

It's three card Monte. It’s a con. 

Why do you think you’re hearing about schools installing litter boxes in bathrooms? It’s not because Rachel Maddow is celebrating the public school system’s tolerance of furries, it’s because Fucker Carlsbad is conflating the story of ONE KID who goes to a PRIVATE school in AUSTRALIA that wanted to be non-verbal because she identified as a cat. ONE KID. But hey, Joe Rogan just brought it up in his interview with Tulsi Gabbard; even made it a personal anecdote that someone he knew; a teacher, said they installed a litter box in the girl’s bathroom. It’s obvious bullshit and you’re falling for it.

The irony of democrats being tarred with the woke brush is that young people are all woke. My kid’s are woke. I’m woke. Democrats are the future and my kids know it.

Is it unfair that someone who grew up as a man goes into a swimming tournament and wins against all the people who were born with a vagina?

Of course.

Is it something that should divert you, Bill Maher, a left leaning pundit, from your left leaning mission of exposing conservatives for what they are?

Conservatives are plutocrat fuckers and you used to be good at exposing that, but you’re getting sucked in.

Wake the fuck up!