Playing Fortnite with my daughters

 

Sara texted, ‘meow’. That meant she was ready to play Fortnite. Then she sent me a picture of the TV showing that Robey CasamirtheGreat Isbell was playing Fortnite!

Awesome! I haven't played with more than one of my sprogs at a time.

Robey had just logged off. She’d been playing solo. She said, “OMG! I just logged off, give me a few minutes and I’ll be back.”

Robey eventually met us in the “lobby”. She can’t use a headset because she plays on a Switch. I have no clue why the Switch won’t allow a headset, but it won’t so I called Robey. When she answered I told her to hold on while I added Sara to the conversation, that way, while in game we could talk to one another.

Sara was shy about speaking at first which made things a awkward because when we played duos she always dropped a pin and gave me a countdown before we jumped together. 

I explained to Robey that I always let Sara drop a pin. Robey said she always let Brett drop pins when they played so she told Sara to drop the pin. Sara did and Robey immediately jumped and started gliding towards it. 

Oh, okay. I usually wait until Sara gave a “3,2,1, jump!” countdown. Sara wasn’t speaking yet, so I guessed we’d wing it.

I love playing battle royale games but it’s difficult to get used to the idea that getting shot isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. Anytime anyone shoots at me my instinct is to freeze, not jump like an idiot, shoot back or hide behind a wall.

When Sara and I first started playing those games together I called her a paranoid bully because she’d have to yell at me to run, or hide or build my health back with some formula the game provided, or I would be useless to her. 

When we all landed that first time we were running and Robey said, “It's a lot of fun playing Fortnite with someone that knows a lot about it AND someone that knows nothing about it.”

I started laughing. Then I said, “Wait, you meant me?” I thought Robey was talking about herself.

It was a delight playing with both of my daughters, who eventually ganged up on their old man.

For some reason Robey kept getting knocked. She and I had played before, without Sara, so I knew she was better than that, most of the time.

When Robey got knocked she would crawl away in order to stay safe until someone could save her. That someone was Sara. 

I mean, I wanted to revive Robey and I think I did once or twice. Seriously, she was getting knocked every few minutes, so she was giving me multiple opportunities to save her bacon.

Most of the time I’d hear Robey grumbling about getting knocked again and by the time I located her and headed her direction I’d see Sara with flames shooting out her backside making a beeline for her elder sibling, far far ahead of me.

While doing battle in a building Robey went down, for like the 47th time. I wasn’t in on the action, Robey and Sara were doing battle on the other side of the building when Robey went down. 

Sara kept on tearing evil’s buns asunder, so I ran up to revive Robey, who was crawling and somersaulting away from the action.

As I got close enough to revive my eldest kid my youngest kid said, "Got it!" which meant she had finished killing everything in sight and pushed me out of the way to save her sister.

I guess I’ll just moonwalk outta here.

When Sara and I play duos we scavenge until we run into people or the storm starts closing in on us.

I usually avoid making first contact with others and when I see someone I’ll tattle to Sara so she knows to come my direction as I dash towards her.

When Sara engages she doesn’t say anything, but I hear gunfire close, so I head her direction . . . you know, in case she needs my help?

“Got it,” Sara will say after she kills everyone in sight. That girl is a beast. She’s a mass murderer in Fortnite.

Robey got knocked so many times Fortnite gave her an award for crawling more than anyone just trying to stay alive until Sara could revive her.

Robey and I chatted with each other while Sara blasted away the enemies. I told Robey, “This is Sara’s world and we’re just living in it.”

As we were dropping for a fresh battle Robey tried to apologize to Sara and I that she’s usually much better than this. Even when she’s really high.

The problem is she killed herself on impact, just as she was about to finish the sentence, “I’m sorry guys I’m usually MUCH better than . . . dammit!”

While Robey is cursing her luck I ran up to find her. She said, “Well that was ironic.”

“The ironic part wasn’t that you killed yourself,” I said, “but that you were trying to explain how you're usually MUCH better than this AS you were killing yourself.”

At one point I got completely killed. 

That means I was knocked to my knees and before I could somersault away some 10 year old hopped up on Funyuns and Monster energy drinks capped my ass. All that was left of me was a card that Robey grabbed. She sprinted away looking for a van in order to revive me.

While Robey was running I noticed that Sara had gotten knocked, so Robey changed directions in order to revive her, but then some mangey critter completely killed Sara as well.

Robey grabbed Sara’s card and then, like a Valkyrie, flew INTO the storm to revive Sara.

I watched all the action through Robey’s eyes as she raced to the van. 

I told her, “Before you revive Sara, eat Cheesy Poofs to bring your health back up!” 

Yeah, South Park is the theme this season, so it’s not uncommon see Cartman or Kyle blasting away at a well armed Peter Griffin or Homer Simpson wearing only a pair of tighty whities. 

As you’re sloppily pouring Cheesy Poofs down your gullet someone exclaims, “I love Cheesy Poofs!”

I watched the the dial on the revival van thinking how awesome it is that one sister is reviving the other sister when suddenly I’m not in Robey’s head anymore. I’m back in the game!

Dang it! 

I was going to sit back and enjoy spectating as the sisters teamed up and opened multiple cans of whoop ass on those who remained.

Sara and I always have a good time playing Fortnite together. And Robey and I have had a good time playing, but us 3 together? I don’t know the last time that I've laughed as hard or as long. 

It was an awesome sesh.

GG girls. GG