MAGA loves Tesler!!!

 

tRump bought himself a Tesler. tRump’s master, the Muskrat, got scared because the stock price of Tesler is falling off a cliff. He might lose the position of “genius” if he can’t get the stock price to rise back up again.

Are you irritated that I called Muskrat tRump’s master? Consider: Muskrat spent 300 million clams on tRump’s campaign and tinkered with the voting machines to get his spray-on tanned ass elected. Of course Muskrat owns his pasty white ass.

Do you need more evidence that the Muskrat is tRump’s master? 

Muskrat deposited 100 million smackers into tRump’s super-pac, nearly 4 years before the next presidential election . . . one that tRump can’t stand for because of term limits. Sure, by the time the 2028 presidential election sneaks up on us republicans in congress will have used the constitution for toilet paper and make it possible for the current president to run again, if donOLD survives until the election of 2028.

Four years before donOLD needs money in his presidential super-pac he’s got freshly harvested millions, just because he bought a Tesler worth 90 thousand simoleons. Does anyone think tRump’s going to hang tight for a few years? Does anyone believe those duckets will still be there in 4 years?

The CEO of Tesler, a company that makes electric cars, thought it would be a great idea to have donOLD tRump buy one of his cars on live TV, so that all his followers would run out and buy one too.

This kind of strategy made me realize that Muskrat must be from Mars. It’s like he wasn’t at any of donOLD tRump’s rallies where he went scorched earth on electric cars and how democrats were killing America by buying Teslers.

Did Muskrat think MAGAts were going to rush out and buy a Tesler and look like a democrat?

Fans of donOLD are MAGAts. MAGAts pretend like they hate smart phones and pretend they can’t text. They’re the assholes that call you when you send them a text.

MAGAts don’t like technology of any kind. They think the world was better before computers. So when their god-king sat in a Tesler and said, “It’s all computer,” Muskrat should have shut the whole thing down.

That fact that the Dumpster called Muskrat’s company “Tesler” leads me to believe he was doing it against his will. donOLD is the dumbest president we’ve ever had and could compete for the dumbest person in America, but he knew how to pronounce the name of Muskrat’s company, he fucked it up on purpose. 

Since the Tesler event was broadcast live Muskrat couldn’t edit out the president calling his electric car company Tesler, which is why donOLD did it. 

tRump hates Muskrat.

tRump called Muskrat’s electric car company “Tesler” more than once. I’m sure Muskrat’s finger was hovering over the “delete” button on tRump’s neural implant. Of course if he cut tRump’s feed on live TV we would all see tRump slump to the ground like a marionette who’s strings were cut.

If Muskrat’s stupid shenanigans weren’t fucking up America from the inside out I would be laughing my ass off. He’s literally showing the world how stupid and disconnected from reality he is.

After America has been destroyed Muskrat will still be the richest man in the world. It won’t be long before you see headlines about people starving to death in America. 

This isn’t a game that Muskrat can pay gamers to level up a character for him so he can come in and play god-mode and wipe out everyone. Muskrat is cancelling your future. 

A lot of you cheered him on thinking he’d make you rich while he did it.

OBAMA VS TRUMP in 2028

Several of my friends are MAGA. I’m not and though they think I’m a democrat because I wouldn’t vote for tRump if you gave me a million smackers . . . okay, that’s bullshit . . . sure I would, because a million smackers would insulate me from the damage tRump would cause to my country while he trips over his dick getting revenge on people in his own party. 

Oh, and crashing the economy.

I’m not a MAGA and I’m not a democrat. I’m not a democrat because they’re pussies and won’t fight like republicans. Democrats refuse to tell lies, make up insulting names and be assholes about their positions like republicans do. In a country where the WWE is an insanely popular . . . sport? Of course Americans wanna see BOTH sides talking smack.

Yeah, it would look just like the movie Idiocracy, but that is WHERE WE ARE!!!

I love Michelle Obama. I thinks she’s cute and funny, tells wonderful stories about our most popular president and was a wonderful first lady, but she was wildly off the mark when she said publicly, “When they go low, we go high.” Democrats lose elections taking stupid advice like that.

Hillary Clinton shit the bed when she called MAGA republicans, “A basket of deplorables.” WTF does that even mean? It sounds like something a maiden aunt from the 1800s would have said about street kids in a Jane Austen novel.

If republicans are slinging mud then democrats need to sling manure.

The Three Stooges, aka tRump, Muskrat and Pretty Eyes, are “flooding the zone.” They’re going fast and breaking things. 

The good thing is that even tRump’s rich donors are getting fucked over. The stock market is crashing hard, which means mostly rich people are getting fucked. Yeah, a lot of working class people have IRAs that’ll be affected but they probably voted for the Orange Anus so I don’t have much sympathy for them.

I only have a couple MAGA friends on Facebook. When one of them says something so stupidly MAGA I just move along. I like them despite their support for the demise of our country and that they believe every thing that comes out of tRump’s facial anus.

They say your mouth is directly connected to your anus by a long tube. I think tRump’s was reversed. His mouth is between his sweaty, dimpled ass cheeks.

I’ve deleted a few of my MAGA acquaintences for saying violently stupid things. Mainly because ALL they would post on FB were disparaging things about democrats. 

While Sleepy Joe was president the price of gas was getting very high, so MAGA was told it was Biden’s fault.

I hated that because I thought it wasn’t true but it was true. Gas prices were high because of Biden. Not because he did something that caused prices to go up, but because he wouldn’t go toe to toe with the liars who were blaming him for high gas prices.

Exxon and Shell saw that MAGAs were being told it was Sleepy Joe’s fault, so they cranked it up to 11 and got even richer. When Saudis saw that the price of gas was going up for no logical reason, they raised the price of crude and they got even richer. 

Everybody wins!

Sleepy Joe finally shook his finger at gas companies like an old timey school marm and gas prices dropped about a dollar a gallon.

Whoopdidoo! 

I was curious about what my MAGA ex-buddies were posting on their FB feed since the stock market is crashing and Muskrat is publicly talking about dismantling Social Security.

I looked up one guy who is my age; a guy who said he would retire on his 62nd birthday so the state of Social Security should matter to him. Someone had posted on his page a conspiracy about Barack Hussein Obama.

That was odd. Why would they give a shit about Obama now?

The conspiracy was about how someone had digitally changed Obama’s birth certificate; that he was actually born in Kenya.

Nearly 20 years ago while Barack Obama was running for president, tRump was speaking out of his facial anus, saying that Obamna was not born in the US.

I exhausted myself explaining to MAGAs that it didn’t matter whether Obama was born here, his mom was American. A fact that NO ONE was disputing.

This rebuilt conspiracy claims Obama was born in Kenya, even though that doesn’t matter because of “birthright citizenship” which states that if ONE of your parents is an American, you are an American, no matter WHERE you were born.

John McCain, a republican senator for decades, who barred tRump from his funeral when he died while tRump was president, was born in Panama. His father was stationed there while he was in the armed services. Though McCain was born in Panama his mother and father were Americans, so he was an American.

tRump tried getting rid of birthright citizenship with a few squiggles of a Sharpie marker, but that’s been struck down by federal judges; judges he appointed during his first term as the Anus in Chief.

So why are MAGAs being fed bullshit about Barack Obama?

I think I know.

There have been rumblings among those who have bronzer on their lips from kissing tRump’s sweaty, dimpled ass that they’re going to peel back presidential term limits so the toddler in chief can run for president again when he’s 82 years old.

Does that mean Obama could run for president in 2028?

tRump trips over his words all the time, and several times he claimed he beat Obama in the election against Hillary Clinton in 2016. Obama was the president when donOLD won his first election, but that election had nothing to do with Obama. 

Obama was never in the mix, though republicans have been saying Obama controls the democrats. That while Sleepy Joe occupied 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Obama was the puppet master.

It would be awesome if Obama were the puppet master, but why would it matter? My guess is because of the inherent racism among white MAGAs. Obama is their boogie man.

Now I’m excited for the election in 2028. Could you imagine a match up between Barack Hussein Obama and donOLD Judas tRump?

Obama won the 2012 presidential election in a landslide against Mitt Romney, a popular, though generic republican.

Tonight while saying my prayers, I’m going to ask God to protect donOLD tRump so he can run against Obama in 2028. 

Wanna see someone win an election in a landslide? donOLD would get his ass spanked like a toddler caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Freedom is for Libtards

    I ran across a series of videos of a Canadian family that moved to Russia. I was interested because I wondered about life in other places and Russia always made me think of Bizzaro Superman comic books. The people in Bizzaro world spoke broken English in a way that sounded Russian to me.

    It’s odd to imagine living in a country filled with white people whom I couldn’t easily communicate with.

    I didn’t care about the Canadian guy’s reasons for moving to Russia. I was curious about Russia from the point of view of a polite American. “So sore-rry.”

    Then he talked about why he and his wife uprooted their family and moved: they were homophobes. They were scared of queers and of their kids being talked into being queer. Canada allows gay people to gather together as openly gay people and celebrate their gayness. Like free people do in free countries.

    Russians aren’t free to express their sexuality if it differs from the average. A famous Russian actor said in an interview televised in Russia that gay people should be set on fire. No one in Russia seemed to care. I was especially saddened because his TV show was said to be a Russian version of Scrubs, my favorite American TV show.

    The Canadian homophobe obvious didn’t think about other things that aren’t going to be free in Russia. I’m sure he never thought he might end up in a gulag or tossed out a window. He probably figured the journalists who were poisoned or oligarchs who ended up looking like pizza-pies on the street were caught performing a gay sex act on someone, so they had to be ended.

    I’d love to see behind the scenes of the Canadian homophobe’s videos because he did NOT have an easy time of it. (I know the name of his channel but I will not name it. He does not need help promoting his traitorous lifestyle.)

    The first thing the Canuck farmer was surprised by was how hard it was for his family to learn Russian and just how serious Russia was about them actually learning Russian. They ain’t all loosey goosey like Canada.

    Then their assets were frozen, for the same reason they might have been frozen in America (which includes Canada) to determine the source of their money. Russia doesn’t want foreign illegal drug dealers coming into their country. 

    Having his assets frozen was hard for the Canadian since he didn’t take them seriously when they told him he had to learn to speak Russian. Translators weren’t readily available and you can only go so far with Google translate before it gets suspicious that you’re in the illicit drug business.

    The Canadian hasn’t said outright that his family is giving up Canadian citizenship but they fly a Russian flag on their farm now. It’s something Russians don’t do because they don’t feel the need to prove they’re patriots every second of everyday like Americans seem to feel the need to do. Or Canadians who’ve moved to Russia.

    In 10 years, after Pooty is dead and the Canadian ex-pat’s kids grow up and some of them defect from Russia, we’ll find out what life was really like for them. Right now it seems like a honeymoon . . . but I’ll bet the homophobic dad wishes he’d kept his mouth shut and stayed in Canada where he has the right to free speech and to bitch about the government. He’d’ve been better off becoming Amish.

     I’d like to know if the expatriate from Canada is allowed to own a gun. Or is able to just blurt out anything he wants. Can he go on a road trip across Russia? Can he get a passport and fly to Hawaii if he wants to?

    There are lots of videos of Karens getting punched in the face in foreign lands because they think they have first amendment rights wherever they go. They think that, because they’re Americans, the world affords them the same rights America does.

    The GOP has redefined itself in the last 16 years. There was a time when a republican was financially conservative and that was it. All the icky stuff like LGBTQ issues, etc, were not discussed. It was definitely not treated as if it were normal, but it wasn’t highlighted. No one would openly come out and say they hated those types of people.

    Then came Obama, who brought racism to the surface. As the saying goes, not all republicans are racist, but all racists are republicans. I’m sure that’s not 100% true, but that’s been my experience.

    Slick Willy’s wife and Sleepy Joe’s Vice brought out conservative misogyny. Pete Bootyjudge brought out homophobia, even though he’s more straight acting than I am.

    (If you’re mad that I misspelled Pete Buttigieg’s last name for comic effect and weren’t mad about my other humorous misspellings, then you’re reading the wrong person’s blog. I didn’t single him out to make fun of him or his last name because he’s gay. I am not homophobic, though you are free to think whatever you want, but if you comment that I am homophobic, I will delete your comment and block you. Exercise your 1st amendment rights somewhere else, Karen.)

    During the 2016 election when tyrannosaurus Rump was running against Slick Willy’s wife, there were allegations that tRump was colluding with Russia. Who knows if he really was colluding with Russia, but damn that bronzered simp had a broner for Pooty. Always talking about how strong he is and showing off his super-white dentures while Pooty was near. 

    If that isn’t love it’s sure is snuggled up close to it.

    Because of tRump’s unsinkable lust for Pooty, blue collar republicans started wearing t-shirts that said, “I’d rather be Russian than a democrat.” That’s pretty unpatriotic for the party of patriotism to say outloud. 

    I’m beginning to think blue-collar republicans are not as fond of freedom as they once pretended to be.

    Russia was the enemy of freedom for all of my childhood. It was the biggest part of the Union of Soviet Socialists Republic. Commies. Pinkos.

    They overthrew the Tsars a 100 years ago and decided to run everything by committee. Not the best idea but better than living as a peasant with no control over their lives.

    Why is Russia now thought of fondly by the American working class?

    There are no LGBTQ rights in Russia. It’s illegal to perform sex-change operations. It’s illegal to have gay pride parades. Consensual sex is legal but if it’s gay sex then it could get you killed because it is publicly ridiculed.

        In the United States you can have a gay pride parade because it’s protected under the constitution. It’s considered free speech to dance around in booty shorts, shaking your money maker.

    First amendment rights are evoked a lot in the United States of America. When gay people or neo-Nazis want to have a parade. Or when Clucker Toolbag wants to praise an avowed American enemy. I was taught that the First Amendment exists to protect speech you may not like or that you find abhorrent.

    tRump winning the presidential election in 2024 should be no surprise. Especially with someone like Elly Muskrat sharing the stage with him. Anyone else wonder why the richest man in the world wanted to hangout with the man with the Golden Face? Doesn’t he have billions of dollars he needs to babysit?

    DonOld tRump talks like a dad from the 70s. Back when my dad would call me a girl or a sissy if I cried. 

    When we were kids my cousin’s dad beat him up because he lost a fight. No one did anything about it and my cousin never lost another fight. He figured out that his dad would love him if he picked on weak kids and beat the shit out of them.

    The conservative idea of freedom has been warped by the Jesus-free pop-Christian church in the United States. They preach that freedom means the ability to deny service to people if they’re gay. Famously bakers who are asked to bake cakes for weddings involving two men, but it could be anything.

    Freedom to the working class conservative means not being confronted with gay pride parades, or two boys kissing on TV or in the movies. The irony is that they wouldn’t see those things if they weren’t watching conservative media. Seriously.

    Faux News is especially good at triggering working class conservatives by showing videos of gay people happily being gay in public, surrounded by tall buildings and lots of other people being gay along with them. 

    The typical viewer of such outrage porn that Faux News pushes lives on a gravel road where no self respecting gay person would ever go, let alone dance around outside on a float raising dust. Can you imagine how much work that would add to their skin care routine?

    Why does Faux News keep pushing the narrative that boys are going to dress like girls so they can peep at your daughter peeing in a public bathroom stall at the local Wallco? Do they believe you’re so stupid that you would send your daughter into a public restroom all by herself? Do they think you’re an irresponsible toothless moron that would let his toddler run around the Wallco toy aisle all alone while some pervert talks her into showing off her panties?

    Yes. They think you’re that stupid. Faux News thinks you would sacrifice your good health and your decent lifestyle to keep your kids from pooping in litter boxes at school. They do NOT want you to think about how broken the healthcare system is in the United States. Or that there’s no law against General Motors shutting down every plant in the US and moving them all to China.

    If all you care about is spending your days not seeing boys in booty shorts then turn off Faux News. No one else is airing that stuff.

I you wanna hear me read this post click on the link below.

Freedom is for Libtards

Immigration Inflation

Kamala Harris lost the 2024 election because she wouldn’t say Biden was wrong about the border. When she was asked how she would have handle the border as president she said, “I can’t think of a thing I would do differently.”

This last round of immigration issues started because Joe Biden won the presidency in 2020 and immediately overturned Trump’s border mandates. They said he was separating kids from families. 

    To be fair, Trump did say that he didn’t care if kids were separated from their families. He said if they wanted to be together they shouldn’t have come to America.

The issue of immigration festered for a long time until democrats had to admit it was an issue. When your own party can no longer cover for your mistakes you’ve waited too long to do something about it. Biden could have chosen to fix it with a mandate, but he didn’t want to take the blame if things went south.

What Biden did do was bizarre: he asked for a bipartisan bill to fix the border. 

    Surprise surprise! He got one. Both sides were happy with it. Everyone was willing to sign, until Trump decided he wanted to run on immigration being the country’s biggest problem. He called up Mike Johnson the current speaker of the house and told him tear up that bill and flush it down the toilet.

    Biden could still fix the border RIGHT NOW with a mandate but he wanted to claim Trump screwed it all up. And for precious weeks during the run up to the election that’s exactly what happened. MSNBC raked him over the coals . . . which only pumped up his poll numbers.

Trump says that when Mexicans are not sponging off our health care system, they’re birthing babies that are automatically Americans, thus sneaking around the legal immigration process. Crafty babies. That when Mexican men aren’t raping our daughters they’re voting for democrats. That when Mexicans aren’t voting for democrats they’re stealing our jobs.

What’s baffling is why I can’t see the immigration problem that they see. Maybe there is a problem but is it big enough to be called an invasion? All the media are screaming that immigrants are over running our country. Trump says he’s going to use the Army to round them up and send them south of the border. Sounds expensive to me.

Vivek Malek was elected to the office of Missouri state treasurer. His name is sus           . . . kinda sounds foreign. Prolly wasn’t born in the United States. I’d never heard the name Vivek before Vivek Ramiswami ran for the republican nomination. Now there’s two of them! 

I avoid political ads when I can, from all parties. They’re filled with bullshit. Both sides are guilty of inflation. They magnify the flaws of the other side. I get it, I just don’t participate.

But the bastards at YouTube figured out how to smack down my adblocker and I was forced to watch an ad for Vivek Malek.

Vivek Malek went to the big iron fence at the southern border and like an evangelical preacher calling down the wrath of God, Vivek screamed, “This is where all our problems start!”

The irony is that Malek was standing at a location where Mexicans can’t cross without a catapult. Or a cannon. 

Vivek Malek won the office of Missouri state treasurer. But what does that office have to do with immigration? In Missouri. 

Laredo Texas is the closest border town to Missouri that I could find on Google Maps and that’s 944 miles away. A 14 hour trip in your jalopy. And Vivek Malek thinks this is where all our problems start? There’s a whole lot Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas between here and there.

The problems that immigration bring, both legal and illegal, are inflated by conservatives in the media. Democrats are accused of lusting after open borders so Mexicans can cross over and vote for them.  While they’re here they can get free health care and food stamps. While they’re getting that free health care and food stamps they can walk up and steal a job from a tax paying citizen of the good ol’ YOUnited States.

None of it is true but it doesn’t matter. There is a tidal wave of BS coming from conservative media. No one wants an open border. Mexicans cannot get free health care. If an illegal immigrant goes to an emergency room Ronald Reagan’s EMTALA act says they must be treated and stabilized, but that does NOT mean it’s free.

But illegals don’t go to emergency rooms, not voluntarily, because if they did they would have to show ID, which would show that they were in fact illegal and they would be deported.

And how do you steal a job? I seriously wanna know, because there are some awesome, high paying positions I’d like to take a stab at.

Conservative media concentrate on issues like illegal immigration so that tax paying citizens won’t bitch about the state of their health care. That Americans are getting dumber. That our quality of life is not what it was 40 years ago. That very few of our kids can afford to buy a house.

Something striking about Vivek Malek’s accusation that all our problems start at the Mexican border is that he doesn’t mention actual issues in the state of Missouri. Like Chinese corporations being allowed to buy up farmland. Like corporations buying single family homes and leasing them for outrageous sums of money. Or that thousands of small farms shut down after Trump pissed off the Chinese with his tariffs so they quit buying our soybeans. I personally know of one person who quit farming directly because of that . . . but he doesn’t blame Trump. He blames the Chinese, because of course he does.

Mexicans come to the United States because they think it’s the greatest country in the world. They think that millions of Mexicans have already walked across the border, stole a job from an American citizen and got health care provided for free because conservative media told them it’s been happening for decades. So they’d better hurry while there’s still an open border!

If you really don’t want Mexicans pouring across the border by the millions then quit believing the lies. Because if you quit believing the lies, maybe they’ll quit telling them.

If you wanna hear me read this blog post out loud click the link below.

Immigration Inflation

Damn the River

 

On the Political Divide

I tried to watch Meghan Kelly interview Bill Maher on YouTube. I didn’t realize it was from 2 months ago, but Bill Maher’s on hiatus right now so I thought I’d watch.

Meghan Kelly used to be one of Fox's news bunnies. A pretty blonde girl who was given a script and told to say stuff in front of a camera so men would watch.

Meghan Kelly wasn’t stupid, so when she asked Donald Trump a hard question he attacked her and eventually Fox dropped her because she wasn’t all in for their presidential candidate.

Meghan Kelly went on to make her own show for something called the Triumph Channel and she has a podcast. (Who doesn’t have a podcast these days?)

During the interview Maher said the peaceful transfer of power is one of the core principles of democracy and that Trump tried to overthrow that principle on January 6, 2021. Trump claimed the election was rigged because he lost.

Maher called Trump an election denier.

What Meghan Kelly said next is typical of how conservatives think about politics. If they feel attacked they don’t analyze what’s being said, they look for what they see as a parallel from the other side. They come back with a ‘whataboutism’.

“And Hillary Clinton is the OG of election deniers,” said Meghan Kelly.

Bill Maher took the bait.

Instead of asking Kelly why she wouldn’t address what he said: try to bring her back to his point, he fought with her, trying to logically compare Clinton’s actions to Trump’s actions.

Meghan Kelly was referring to how Hillary Clinton complained about Donald Trump during his presidency. Kelly’s answer had nothing to do with Maher’s statement. She was attempting to say that democrats do it too. She created a false equivalency.

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by nearly 3 million. Trump was granted the presidency by the electoral college, but before the sun rose the day after the election Clinton called Trump and conceded.

Clinton congratulated Trump for winning the election.

Clinton did not deny that she lost the election. She never said it was rigged. She may have said the electoral college is an antiquated system that denies Americans a direct choice in who gets to be the most powerful person in the world, but she didn’t say republicans stole the election.

Clinton was the most unpopular democratic candidate for the office of the presidency that I’ve ever witnessed. So much so that I can’t name one person who voted for her, including me. I voted 3rd party. Screw the haters, I never thought of her as a democrat in the first place. I never thought Bill Clinton was a democrat either.

Yet Trump lost to her by nearly 3 million votes.

I saw the thumbnail of a clip from that interview with the title of, “Because you’re stupid.” Apparently Bill Maher got tired of Kelly’s tactics and resorted to name calling.

Bill Maher thinks he’s getting through to Megan Kelly’s audience, because they’re only going to get conservative talking points unless someone talks about something other than building the wall that Trump says is already built, but is going to complete it if he gets re-elected.

Jon Stewart saw the trend; the bickering political pundits, and thought it was terrible. Especially when that was the format of the show.

Crossfire was a perfect example of pundits from either side bickering. Jon Stewart went on to the show and told them they’re bad for America and literally asked them to stop.

CNN cancelled Crossfire.

Bill Maher didn’t go on Meghan Kelly’s show and ask her to stop. He didn’t tell her she was bad for America because of her ‘whataboutisms’ and how she plays 3 card monte with the facts. He bickered, she pushed back, he called her stupid, then (I’m guessing) they shook hands and parted as friends.

Bill Maher’s visit to Meghan Kelly’s show was a stick in a river. Few will notice he was there and when he’s gone no one will remember or care.

Rivers are powerful. If you want to use that power for something else you have to build a damn. You have to stop the flow and only let if pass after you taken it’s power.

Or you stop it at the source: money. Overturn Citizens United and a large part of this madness will go away.

Joe Rogan is Weird

Joe Rogan has never been funny. His character on News Radio wasn’t funny. He seemed out of place. I loved News Radio and watched it because I was already a fan of Phil Hartman and Dave Foley.

Joe Rogan’s creation, Fear Factor, was ridiculous. A lot of the challenges were just gross out contests. Eating things that shouldn’t go anywhere near your mouth. In the way a bully might try to force a weak kid to eat a worm. It was juvenile.

Rogan started doing a podcast long before it was popular. He built an audience slowly. Not even on purpose to hear him tell it. Now he’s the richest podcaster in the world.

Full stop.

At least that’s how I would have handled my business, but Joe Rogan likes to think of himself as a comedian. He owns a comedy club. He interviews comedians on his podcast. He is a huge fan of a lot of comedians so it’s fun to watch the clips of him with Dave Chappelle (the best comedian of my lifetime) and Kat Williams, who took a cheap shot at Rogan claiming he only invited his close circle of friends on his popular podcast. Rogan was willing to give Kat a platform even after Kat publicly showed him disrespect.  

Joe Rogan is a great podcaster. He is a record setting podcaster. He got rich doing podcasts. Has anyone else ever done that? I didn’t even think it was possible.

But he’s not funny. And he is weird. He’s always been weird.

His last special just dropped on Netflix yesterday, August 3rd. I fired up the ol’ Netflix machine to watch reruns (does anyone call them that anymore? Reruns?) of The Walking Dead when I saw a live stream of Rogan’s newest special, Burn the Boats. The title was a swing and a miss. It put me off immediately.

If you know anything about the history of this country, Columbus set fire to his boats to get his crew to commit to the place they’d landed . . . somewhere south of here. 

Columbus was a dick. He enslaved the natives and trapped his crew to establish the new world. If that’s what Rogan was referring to he really shit the bed. I couldn’t finish watching his ‘special’. Rogan was a like a toddler ranting over his inability to understand why he couldn’t have a cookie.

So I clicked on it out of curiosity. I’ve seen clips of his specials on YouTube. Though they were engaging they were not funny. Not even smile worthy. 

This last one was no different, just a bit more weird. He seemed to have an ax to grind about homosexual men.

One of his set pieces; I won’t call it a joke, was about being around gay men. 

"I love gay men, but I think about gay men the same way I think about mountain lions. I'm happy they're real, but I don't want to be surrounded by them. They're a bunch of dudes who f*ck dudes, I don't like my chances!"

The implication being that gay men would rape him. It’s fun seeing a self proclaimed macho man be skeered of being raped. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, it’s just an amusing thought.

Another implication is that he would be attractive to a gay man. The image of Rogan’s boob sweat resulting from his strenuous job of talking . . . yeah, I think most gay men would give him a hard pass. Joe, I think you could go to a gay bar and drink completely unmolested. 

You’re safe.

Dave Chappelle could have used the same scenario to get people to laugh, but he wouldn’t have come off as a homophobe jacked up on steroids who’d rather beat your brains out than entertain the idea of having sex with you. Dave would have been funny.

It’s okay not to wanna have sex with someone who shares your gender, but Rogan pushes the notion that democrats are saying it’s NOT okay to NOT wanna have gay sex. He’s like an old man thinking gay marriage is going to force straight people to marry gay people. 

Rogan’s notions are wildly immature.

Rogan is the perfect example of someone who isn’t getting any information from outside his bubble. The algorithms know what he wants and he can’t think outside of what the internet has chosen for him. 

Rogan gorges on misinformation and regurgitates it to his audience.

On his podcast Rogan pushed a conspiracy about the current president, Sleepy Joe. The story goes that the state of the union address: the one that caused Fox News to say Biden was ‘jacked up’ on something because he did so well, was pre-recorded. The only evidence was a close up of the president’s watch: it showed the wrong time.

The person Rogan said this to immediately asked if that meant hundreds of republican senators and congressmen were in on the cover-up. In other words, how had we not heard from any republicans that the state of the union was pre-recorded? 

Rogan had started his mouth before he put his mind in gear.

Rogan had his assistant dig a little deeper and yes, it had been debunked. The picture was actually of an address of congress at a different time, so the president’s watch wouldn’t have the correct time for the state of the union address.

Joe Rogan telling homophobic jokes on his little podcast is in poor taste but the only people who are going to see or hear it are people who go out of their way to find him on Spotify. I used to watch his YouTube clips if they looked interesting, but I’m not going to Spotify to listen to a 3 hour long podcast hosted by a former MMA fighter while he interviews some whackadoodle who couldn’t get on TV because he thought saltine crackers were actually soylent green and you know what soylent green is.

I’m not saying Netflix shouldn’t have offered his special. I’m saying that Rogan made an enormous mistake airing the special at all. None of his specials are funny, but they’re not as phobic as this last one. This broad shouldered former MMA fighter seems scared shitless of the world.

Joe Rogan got rich so he thinks that means he’s right about everything. In the way that Elon Musk suddenly realized he’s the smartest person in the room and that’s why he’s rich.

I don’t care if Rogan fails as a comedian or succeeds as a podcaster. I’ve enjoyed small slices of his podcast, but I couldn’t care less if it and he disappeared.

Joe Rogan is just a symptom of the weird times in which we live.